is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
