Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
