It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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