Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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