She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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