i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
