So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
