She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
