wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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