If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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