I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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