I want to have your abortion
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
