We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
