STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
