You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
