I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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