garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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