then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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