So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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