i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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