Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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