shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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