Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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