Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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