note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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