she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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