I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All the doctor said was why
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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