Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Porn is love you can see.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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