Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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