Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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