just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
