I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
