the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
