I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
