i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
