you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
