I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
