"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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