yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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