dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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