Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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