I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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