just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
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Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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