I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
