and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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