Got a toothbrush?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
