dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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