if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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