He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
