Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
