I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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