So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
