Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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