lets start a swedish sibling band together
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My ass is underappreciated
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
