I want you more than these girls want KFC
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
