Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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