Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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