i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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